I'm having a little epiphanous (which is probably not a word) weekend.

I am tired of not writing in my ElJay, first off. Too much life has happened without my having clickety-clacked it into memory.

(I say "memory" because mine is shittier than a pile of actual shit and is getting shittier by the day. At best, I feel like a bad listener and friend when I can't remember a story someone has told me; at worst, I feel like a good candidate for Alzheimer's research -- as in, "Start watching me now, because I'm a sure-fire bet for Reagan-babble sooner or later.")

I should be typing. Telling my stories. Writing my brain down. Etcetera. So when I'm seventy I can tell my grandkids, "Hang on, let me just Manage My Tags real quick-like, and then I'll tell you all about that crazy-ass time I shat in the streets of Los Angeles. I know it's here somewhere. You're right, I shouldn't say the word 'ass.'"

What else. A hell of a lot.


( Chick'n Nugget is born. )

( Pictures! )

( I call a mulligan. )

( What I meant to say is... )


Of course there are stories. Stories I should tell, and will, upon the morrow. Right now I am 'leepy.

Q: How many pounds of water can a weekend's worth of margarita salt retain?

A: Nine pounds, boys and girls. The answer is nine.


*bloat bloat, waddle waddle*


(Work is kicking my ass. I will return to visit my friends and my yitto eljay after I meet my deadline with a bang and a flourish on Friday.)

( Rain running. )

( Homework. )

( Oh, Rugby, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind. )


And finally...


( Orgasm in the company bathroom. )

Old food stuff...

Last week: udon noodles and vegan alfredo with Yves' brats and tomatoes. The next night, I used the same noodles and sauce, but added mock chicken and peas (I guess I didn't take a picture, but I think that one was prettier.). This alfredo sauce still amazes me. I didn't even use "butter flavor" or a substitute. It tastes like cream and cheese. It's lowfat. It's versatile. Three cheers!

( Picky. )

Tonight I made two Heart Attacks on a Plate for the little penguin and myself. I'm sure you've had something similar before. This is American Version #4590284.

( Picky. )

Perhaps it goes without saying that I have been really bad with calorie counting this week. Okay, okay -- I have not been doing it. And while fighting whatever it is that's trying to invade my body, I haven't felt like running for two days, either. I spent last night from 6pm until this morning in bed, trying to feel rested by 6am. My period needs to come and I need to feel notlikepoop. But UNTIL THEN... we eat oven chips and cornmeal-crusted tofu with Vegenaise and ketchup, my children. Oh, yes... oh, yes.