Current mood:	excited
Entry tags:	j and v, kittens

"Hello, this is Dorklepork!"

"Hi, Dorklepork. This is Doctor Kitty from the Kitty Animal Hospital, calling about Victoria and Josephine."

"Yes, yes. Hi, Kitty, how are you?"

"I'm good, I just wanted to update you on their status."

"Okay."

"Well, Victoria came through just fine, there was no trouble and she's up and doing well."

*slight freak-out*

"Okay..."

"And Josephine, we opened her up and found two full-term kittens. I-"

"JOSEPHINE?!"

"Yeah, so-"

"Wait. Josephine. The little one?!"

"Uh... Josephine, yeah."

"The little one."

"Is Victoria the little one?"

"No, that's Josephine."

"Oh, hmm, I think we had their charts mixed up."

"Oh, okay."

"So Victoria..."

"VICTORIA?! OH, MY GOD! OH, GOD!"

"Hee hee. Yes, she is at full-term with two kittens. I left them in there and sewed her right back up -- they're ready to come out in the next few days."

"Oh, my god."

"Heh. Yes. So... are you okay with this?"

"Wait. Victoria's PREGNANT. Oh, my god."

"Yeah, my assistant first told me that there were two kittens about two weeks from being due. At that point, I would have considered taking them out, but once I looked at them... they have full fur, and their teeth... they could be here as early as tomorrow, quite honestly."

"Holy... oh, god!"

"How do you feel about all this, would you feel comfortable taking her home, or...?"

"Oh, my god. Yes, absolutely. Oh, my god."

"You weren't expecting to become a grandma, huh?"

"Ha. No. Oh, my god."

"I feel really bad about this. We will make sure they find good homes, no worries..."


...and the conversation went on about things like weaning and a real spay appointment and taking care of mama cats and how she was such a goddamn pig and how her fur was completely different than Josephine's and wow-that-explains-so-much and when in the name of baby Jeebus she'd gotten knocked up and I said, "Oh, my god," a few more times and so on.

Holy effin' Christ.

Fuck knows the world doesn't need more kittens, but now that they're here... I'm excited like those front row Beatles fans. You know the ones. Gaaaaah, yitto bebbies with no eyes and running into things and splayed-out legs and ohforcute. Ee hee hee hee hee!!!

And I am not going to want to give them away... Crazy Cat Lady Land, I'm on my way!

Squeeeeeeeeee!